Helping women 50+ find clarity, purpose and direction in the second half of life.
by Liz Horne
I wanted to share an example of my daily program with you ...
I understand it can be challenging signing up to a program and determining if you're a good fit. I also understand some women will have budget constraints. So as well as my MidLife Reset Session I offer daily inspiration to your inbox for only AUD$27 a month.
My program is not about lengthy journaling (unless you wish, and unless you have the time - in which case please do that with my blessing).
I designed this program for a wide range of women. You may be overworked, financially stressed yet seeking help, overwhelmed with a health crisis, grieving either a loved one or the life/youth/health you once had. Perhaps you're empty nesting, recovering from or living in a trauma situation, or you may simply be weary, worn, lacklustre or depressed as you don't know where your life is leading. Some of you may simply be lonely and pondering your next move in life.
And sadly, some of you may be at such a low ebb, that you simply wish for someone who understands to tell you what to do - as you feel you are unable to see clearly yourself at this time.
I felt like that once - truly. But there was no-one to tell me what to do and well-wishers did not seek to understand the depth of my despair in that moment or my inability to make sense of my life to date, what it all meant and where it was all leading. The cost of psychotherapy was high and the timeframe for progress was long and honestly I didn't want to look backwards and analyse. I needed fast action. I was overwhelmed in the moment but finally heard a quote that was a catalyst to my redemption.
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
So I decided resolutely to become a more evolved, peaceful, seeker of life. I read and listened to books at every opportunity, joined meditation programs, exercised, ate well - and made no excuses to myself while still working full time and raising sons. I finally, finally stopped waiting for things to change and decided to be the change. When people asked how I was I stopped complaining or sharing my woes - and began reframing my responses and yes, faking it until I could make it. And I decided that I would share this journey, what helped me to find the light again and to walk a new path - amidst grief, depression, financial constraints, health issues and loneliness.
You can do that too - and now you have my program to help. Remember you are only ONE step and ONE thought away from changing your life. We all have a choice in every single moment of whether a decision will hurt us or harm us.
The context of my daily messages will suit all situations.
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a reflection to carry with you for the day and perhaps an analogy to illustrate a point
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practical action steps to achieve growth and open your mind to possibilities this day
Date : the first day of the rest of your life
“Death is the only wise advisor that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, 'I haven't touched you yet.”
― Carlos Castaneda
Reflection
Consider what you have on your agenda right this moment, right this day. Jot it down if you like - in broad terms. As you recall everything you need to have done this day notice how that feels in your body. Do you feel anxious, overwhelmed, fearful, resigned and unmotivated or irritated?
Now pause quietly for a moment and imagine you are lying in your bedroom in the future and you are aware of your approaching death. Yes it's a little confronting but it's meant to be as that day will come for us all.
Ponder the thoughts you would be having. What stands out to you? I promise you, you will not be thinking of your son's poor grades at school, or your husband's affair, or that beautiful car you struggled to pay off, or how nice the house looked finally painted.
No. Depending on your age and that of your children or other loved ones, you will be feeling remorse at missing important events in their future, or at leaving your pet, or at never leaving that terrible employment because you were frightened, or sad that you never worked up the courage to do that course, take that trip, tell that person you love or forgive them, spend more time with someone special, take time to look after your body. You may also feel remorse for having pined and fretted and grieved too long for the death or loss of a person or situation over which you had no control, to the extent you have wasted precious time being in the moment in the wonder of the world.
I want you to now pretend that that day is today - your last day on earth. What is on your agenda today that can possibly be removed? I'm not suggesting you immediately give up employment or any other chore that supports you or your family's life in a positive way. I am wishing for you to firstly give up the mundaneness of today - the feeling you simply must have a perfectly clean house, car, or hairstyle. A stocked fridge or groomed dog. A need to see straight A's on your son's exam. The issues you now KNOW you would not be thinking of on your death bed.
Action
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Now, what is on your agenda that promotes or enhances growth, joy, success or fulfilment - the emotions and states you will actually be pondering if it really was your last day on earth.
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Do you have items on your agenda that fulfil that brief? Today, as you go about your life - I want you to continually come back to this thought. Is what I am doing right this moment something that will bring me peace and fulfilment on my deathbed. If it's not - take a note of it as we're going to be working towards changing that. If it is - well done - keep doing that.
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As you notice your various chores, roles you fulfil, relationships and interactions - become acutely aware of the sensations in your body as you are doing them. Are they positive life enhancing sensations or stressful draining feelings or emotions. The body knows - and you will be learning to listen to it and your intuition - in order to make positive changes from this day forward.
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Please make simple notes on your phone for each day, or keep a voice recording on your phone or paper diary - depending on your preference- and ensure you date the notes. Nothing onerous - just short notes of what you noticed in both a positive and negative way. We will be looking back over this in the future.
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Now go about your day - more aware and intuitive than you have been. Don't worry if you forget for a while - just keep pulling yourself back to this reflection every time you remember. You may like to wear something that will remind you when you look at it, or put a quiet alarm on your phone once an hour - whatever works for you personally to bring you back to this moment of reflection around what you are doing in that instant.
See you tomorrow - the next day of the rest of your life.